The new X4 metal detector, now where’d I bury that gold?

by Fred

Sure everybody has the same dream.

Sweeping a beautiful beach filled with scantily clad,,, ok, old folks in Florida with a metal detector to find a spare Rolex, or at least a large amount of change.X4 Metal Detector

Sure you have. Well now you can, and for a change, for a reasonable price! But wait, it gets better!

Rather than swinging the lamest excuse for an all electronic six-iron, you can drive along with a remote controlled metal detector! (it’s not wireless, there’s a 5 foot cord so you do have to follow it like it is a dog and you’re the scooper).
The LiveScience store has the new X4 Detector rover for 29.95$US. What a deal (considering a real detector runs around 300-1000$!

You’ve got to read the writeup on their site, it’s very funny and patronizing all at once! Keep reading for more!

As for the useful information provided by the website, here are the real gems!

“Remote-controlled all-terrain vehicle finds rings, coins, and other buried booty.”
As all good Beastie Boyz fans know, it’s another name for pirate treasure!

” Tank-style treads and knobby wheels go anywhere, even places they shouldn’t.”
Umm where shouldn’t these children be driving? An aircraft runway perhaps?!

Video-game styled controller gives children familiar video knobs to twiddle even though they’re outside, in direct sunlight.”
Ohh them childrens do likes the outsides, (duh).

“Metal detector is unable to detect the value of what is found, so if your kids find something really valuable, you can still buy it back for a quarter.”
Don’t forget to rip off your children! They’re your most valuable asset, always make them find you stuff while you’re surfing and or relaxing.

“This sensitive, accurate metal detector is loaded on a rugged ATV remote-controlled rover, connected by a five-foot cable, which will come in handy should you attempt metal detecting in a minefield
So you’re saying, “Don’t let your kids go into minefields” Parent of the year awards winging their way to you Mr. Promotional slogan!

“Requires four AA batteries, not included.”
So it probably dies in about 2 hours (prove me wrong!) What about rechargeable batteries here!?

I’ve got to say this genuinely fun looking toy (that, aside from the snide comments I make looks actually fun) it has two small drawbacks.

1. It’ll likely run out of batteries quickly.

2. The cord makes it a little less “remote controlled” (as you follow it around in a creepy manner)

Nevertheless, it looks like a ton of fun for kids! Don’t take this off the list for the holidays, it’s affordable, looks relatively fun, and, who knows, maybe you’ll find that Rolex!!

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